I'm Alissa. I'm 20 years old and I live in New York. I'm a junior in college, and I'm studying Clinical Laboratory Sciences because I'm a huge nerd. I'm easy to relate to, and easy to talk to. I'm a good listener if anyone needs someone :) Don't be afraid!
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
is this some kind of satanic ritual i don’t understand
My adventures as a mayor.
This girl was tormenting me at iHop while I was trying to eat my eggs.
Bitch.
(Source: twerkchamp2013)
for the longest time i thought shoes on a telephone wire was just people getting rid of their old shoes in a cool way
It’s not?…
no it means that someone sells drugs nearby
my life is a lie
(Source: circumcisions)
One time I heard my boyfriend had sex with another girl. So I called and asked him about it and he denied it, so I called the girl and she denied it too, and then I called my boyfriend back and told him that the girl had told me everything and he replied with “it was just one time. It meant nothing.” And then I replied with “fuck you, she didn’t tell me anything.” And that’s still my favorite story to tell.
Okay so you know these glasses right?
I was in class and I put them on. And, being the dramatic smartass I am I turned to my friend and said, with the most conviction I could muster, “Behold- I am now ten times funnier.”
And she looked at me- looked at me dead in the eyes- and said very seriously:
“Ten times zero… is still zero”
Baby thinks she can eat food from the magazine
(Source: onlylolgifs.net)
my mum is forcing me to wear flip flops on our cruise and
stOP REBLOGGING THIS JFC I KEEP GETTING MESSAGES TELLING ME TO PUT PETE WENTZ’ FACE ON THEM
Man what would happen if we took every criminal and threw them on a continent and just let them have at it for like 50 years? What would they even say when we came back?
probably “g’day mate!”
it’s funny because that’s the actual history of australia
Is this what happens when you realize you’re gay?
yeah
(Source: hawthorwn)
not sure if this website glorifies social anxiety and self loathing or everyone has reached rock bottom and dark humor is merely a bitter form of comfort
johnny depp more like johnny deep…..into the ocean because he was in pirates of the caribbean and they were in the ocean and he probably went deep into it when he went swimming i bet
what
johnny depp more like johnny deep…..into the ocean because he was in pirates of the caribbean and they were in the ocean and he probably went deep into it when he went swimming i bet
(Source: tastefullyoffensive)
IM LAUGHING ASO HARD AT THID WHAY THE FRICK
